Whats up everyone.
For the first time I get more than one minute to email, so
I'll try to make it a little longer. Sorry about the bulk email
to everyone, but I don't have much of a choice. OK let me tell
you a little bit about the great place of East Timor.
Its fucking HOT. Were talking about my fat ass dripping sweat
every second of the day.
You might not have guessed it, but this place is like Old Mcdonalds
farm. There are animals everywhere. The family Im staying with
has pigs, roosters, dogs, chickens, all just kind of hanging
around the house. The problem is that these damn animals dont
do the nice little “and a cluck, cluck here bull shit. I get
waken up to animal death screams every 15 minutes in the middle
of the night.
Bathrooms: ok, I wish I could draw you a picture of where I
have to go deuce it. Its a little shack, and in the middle of
it there's a small whole. The idea is to squat, without holding
on to anything, and do your business without pissing or shitting
on yourself. Ive only had the courage to do it once- so I go
in there bone dry, and come out soked in sweat because of the
squat workout I just put myself through in the tin sauna that
they call a bathroom. The locals had to think I was doing some
sort of calistenic routine in there.
The family I stay with seems nice enough - but who the hell
knows, I cant understand one god damn thing they say to me.
They could be telling me that they re going to sacrafice me
tomorrow morning for the rain gods and I wouldnt have a clue.
I stay in this hut type place, with I dont know how many people.
I dont know because I usually run out of thing to say by about
7 oclock - stare at people unitl 8 oclock, and head to bed for
a long night of no sleep.
Just to let you know, I am now considered the funniest man
in my town. Why you ask? Its simple- all you have to do is confuse
the word for "lesson" with the word for "penis"
and you are an instant comic celebrity with all the local kids.
So it seems that my dumbness has transended international boundaries
and languages. There are like 20 kids that follow me and this
other guy around all day. We decided to go the beach the other
day, and right before we ran out into the water, all of these
kids were whipping off their clothes frolicking in the water,
and insisting on trying to tackle me. Unfortunately, there are
pictures of this, so if you see them, dont worry its not kiddie
porn, its just a normal day at the beach here.
There are more stories, but I have to let other people use
these computers. Ill try to email more often when I get the
chance. Now, I havent wrote a single letter yet either – but,
if you send me something, I promise that I will send you something
back. And getting mail here is like christmas, so send shit.
Other than that, I hope everyone is doing well, and Ill write
you again soon.
Mister Marko (My offical Timor name)