Mark Konta Estoria I

From East Timor

Whats up everyone.

For the first time I get more than one minute to email, so I'll try to make it a little longer. Sorry about the bulk email to everyone, but I don't have much of a choice. OK let me tell you a little bit about the great place of East Timor.

Its fucking HOT. Were talking about my fat ass dripping sweat every second of the day.
You might not have guessed it, but this place is like Old Mcdonalds farm. There are animals everywhere. The family Im staying with has pigs, roosters, dogs, chickens, all just kind of hanging around the house. The problem is that these damn animals dont do the nice little “and a cluck, cluck here bull shit. I get waken up to animal death screams every 15 minutes in the middle of the night.

Bathrooms: ok, I wish I could draw you a picture of where I have to go deuce it. Its a little shack, and in the middle of it there's a small whole. The idea is to squat, without holding on to anything, and do your business without pissing or shitting on yourself. Ive only had the courage to do it once- so I go in there bone dry, and come out soked in sweat because of the squat workout I just put myself through in the tin sauna that they call a bathroom. The locals had to think I was doing some sort of calistenic routine in there.

The family I stay with seems nice enough - but who the hell knows, I cant understand one god damn thing they say to me. They could be telling me that they re going to sacrafice me tomorrow morning for the rain gods and I wouldnt have a clue. I stay in this hut type place, with I dont know how many people. I dont know because I usually run out of thing to say by about 7 oclock - stare at people unitl 8 oclock, and head to bed for a long night of no sleep.

Just to let you know, I am now considered the funniest man in my town. Why you ask? Its simple- all you have to do is confuse the word for "lesson" with the word for "penis" and you are an instant comic celebrity with all the local kids. So it seems that my dumbness has transended international boundaries and languages. There are like 20 kids that follow me and this other guy around all day. We decided to go the beach the other day, and right before we ran out into the water, all of these kids were whipping off their clothes frolicking in the water, and insisting on trying to tackle me. Unfortunately, there are pictures of this, so if you see them, dont worry its not kiddie porn, its just a normal day at the beach here.

There are more stories, but I have to let other people use these computers. Ill try to email more often when I get the chance. Now, I havent wrote a single letter yet either – but, if you send me something, I promise that I will send you something back. And getting mail here is like christmas, so send shit. Other than that, I hope everyone is doing well, and Ill write you again soon.

Mister Marko (My offical Timor name)

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